Dear Bug,
After all we've been through I didn't expect to see you again the other day. Perhaps you thought I'd forgotten about us? Well, no, I remember you very well although without fondness.
Our relationship was intense but short-lived. It started in the dev environment when I glimpsed you out of the corner of my eye and knew immediately that I wanted to hold you close. Love at first sight? I wouldn't say that, but I recollect you teasingly jinking this way and that as I followed you through the architecture of our service, laughing and crying in turn.
Eventually I caught up and found that I had been pursuing twins, two effects from the same underlying cause. We went on double dates (triple dates?) with a developer friend of mine until it became apparent that she understood you way better than I did.
And that was the beginning of the end for us. As soon as she had finished with the bug she was seeing, you left me to be with her. That's OK, even before you and she got together I had started to look elsewhere.
Of course, she eventually showed you the door, as she has done with all the bugs she's taken from me over the years. I hope you won't be upset to find that we talked about you behind your back before and after that?
Actually, I don't much care what you think. We both decided we never wanted to see you again, but it was hard to find a way to check that you hadn't returned, given the places you liked to hang out.
We did our best in the time we had, but it turned out not to be enough. You were still there and we didn't notice.
You see, you are slippery, and managed to conceal yourself behind another bug. That was clever of you and meant that we were in production before we realised that you never completely went away.
Luckily, you've lost most of the charm and influence you had when you were younger. Your effects are now limited and non-critical which means we could ghost you and improve our surveillance without time pressure.
So, goodbye again Bug. We missed you when you weren't gone, but we won't miss you now that you are.
James
Image: Mustard and Gray
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